Date: 2010-03-21 09:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] leni2263.livejournal.com
Евгений, по ощущению в третьей строчке-две хозяйки. ритмически третья строка длинновата (при первых двух коротких), "домохозяйки" вываливаются из ритма. да и повтор дома во 2 и 3 строчках. ИМХО конечно:)
This account has disabled anonymous posting.
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
HTML doesn't work in the subject.
More info about formatting
 
Notice: This account is set to log the IP addresses of everyone who comments.
Links will be displayed as unclickable URLs to help prevent spam.

Profile

watertank: (Default)
watertank
Переводы хайку Иссы

January 2023

S M T W T F S
1234567
8910 11121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
293031    

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jun. 18th, 2025 10:53 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios